Seven Golden Rules for Lasting Love

There is no feeling more beautiful than being in love totally and be cherished by the person you love the most. No amount of words can explain that feeling. Consider yourself extremely lucky, even if you had a tiny glimpse of that unconditional love in your life. True and unconditional love is a rarity. Fortunately, I am blessed with such an experience in my life.

So what does TRUE LOVE feel like? It feels like you are valued the most, above anything else. For the other person you are the most important part of their life and you are simply irreplaceable. Such LOVE infuses you with unbeatable confidence. You feel like a SUPER HERO, totally UNSTOPPABLE. True love also awakens in you a sense of deep compassion and kindness towards others. You won’t hesitate to put their needs above yours and you don’t feel that is a sacrifice because you don’t feel that you are two separate people. You feel their happiness is your happiness. You feel that ONENESS. That is when you know that you are in TOTAL LOVE.

For most people, unfortunately such feelings of true love are transient. For some, this may continue on for a few years. But very rarely people continue to be in the state of total law, lifelong. Why is that? It’s because, we as human beings are imperfect and as time passes by, we tend to focus more on the imperfections rather than the perfect moments of life. Soon, fights break out. You both feel conflicted. Love fades and is replaced by negative feelings.

7 GOLDEN RULES FOR LASTING LOVE:

1. Do not idealize your relationships. If you are expecting the other person to be perfect all the time, it’s not going to happen. A perfect partner is a misnomer. Initially, you may feel that person is perfect, but with time you will notice things that are less than perfect. Instead of looking for perfection in your partner, look for signs of love and affection. As long as that is there, you could still work on improving yourselves.
2. Avoid negative conversations. This pandemic has brought a lot of stress into our lives. When we are stressed, we tend to gravitate toward negativity. We easily get into arguments. If you find yourself in such situations, silently excuse yourself from there. Let them know you will come back a little later.
3. Let go of resentment. For any reason if you have a strained relationship, at least for the time being, let go of all anger and resentment. Remember, resentment is like a hot charcoal. The longer you hold it, the greater your pain will be. For the next few months, treat each other normally. Maybe things will turn around with time.
4. Be kind to others. Give them the benefit of doubt even when you think they are wrong. In close relationships, it is okay to take a step back and let the other person have their way, as long as it is not harming you. We often think that by being tough and assertive we can change others. It actually works the other way around. Your kindness will transform them faster than your meanness.
5. Forgive others as you would forgive yourself. We find it quite easy to forgive ourselves even when we make big mistakes. Yet, we don’t forgive others so easily. We see others’ faults through a magnifying glass, and we minimize our own. When you turn that around and start being more forgiving toward people, you will develop a saintly personality.
6. Show love in action. We may express our love toward others in words, but words lose their power if they are not supported by our actions. Sometimes, when we are struggling in our relationships, our words may not convince others of our love toward them, but our actions will. Look for opportunities to express your love through your deeds.
7. Give them your understanding. Most people do not feel understood in their relationships. Lack of proper understanding leads to false assumptions which is the primary reason for all conflicts. If you truly take the time to listen and understand the other person with all your heart, mind, and soul, every day becomes a VALENTINES DAY